I got into filmmaking because I wanted to create acting opportunities for myself. My mental health went on a crazy roller coaster of a ride when I was living in Los Angeles being sent out to audition for “token Asian” roles or roles that only saw me as “Asian” – very rarely was I considered for the meaty roles that my non-Asian friends were being called in to read for. As a filmmaker and screenwriter, I was finally able to create the characters I was frequently overlooked for in Hollywood and tell the stories I wanted to tell; the stories of unrequited love (Dropping the S Bomb), relationship blunders (Backup Plan), relationship realizations (Right Person Wrong Time), devastating heartbreak with a toxic relationship (Letting Go) and learning to let go of toxic friendships (Chasing Birdie). As I was going through the film festival circuit with films that I created, I saw some incredible films and longed to connect with the filmmakers of those films BUT found it impossible to connect with people at these massively large events. However, one thing I noticed is that all of the filmmakers were connected to the film festival organizer.
THAT is why I started the Silicon Valley International Film Festival – FINALLY, I was not only able to merge the world that paid the bills and kept the lights on (have worked in tech for a little over 10 years now) but more importantly, I was able to get connected with the types of filmmakers that I have ALWAYS wanted to be connected with as an ACTOR.
I can’t believe I’ve already hosted The Silicon Valley International Film Festival for 6 years…going on SEVEN 🤯 Every year, I evolve and adapt to make the experience better for everyone and create value for both filmmakers pitching their next film project and for the tech professionals who may potentially invest.
At the end of every year before the ball drops and we usher into a new year, I ask myself: what do I want to accomplish for the New Year? I’ve been thinking a lot about my acting career (that had to take a major back seat when my kids came onto the scene) and what I wanted to accomplish for myself for this year. For those involved in the film world, you know that Sundance (one of the biggest and most prestigious film festivals in the world right now where films, directors and actors get discovered) is going on right now. Since it was the FIRST time that it has gone virtual, I bought myself a pass and was finally able to virtually attend…and…I.AM.INSPIRED
My goal for this year? To work and invest in a film project that goes to Sundance. How am I going to make that happen? Connect with the filmmakers of the films I LOVE at Sundance and invite them to the Silicon Valley International Film Festival in December.
BOOM 💥
Sometimes you can’t just wait at home praying that God delivers the groceries (that you didn’t even take the steps to order) to your house; you have to go out and GET THEM.
Create opportunities for yourself; plant seeds and keep planting seeds…because you never know which ones will grow…maybe they all will (Ecclesiastes 11:6).
*cheers* to manifesting your dreams and taking ACTION to make them a reality.
When I found out I was pregnant with my first child 3 years ago, I knew that I would have to put my acting career on hold…and even if it was just going to be for a season…it absolutely broke my heart. I knew through that season, I would be going through extreme body changes, wouldn’t be getting sleep and would have to step back from the very thing that makes me come alive…acting.
…THEN my unexpected pregnancy and eventual birth of my second child at the beginning of 2020 happened. I was heartbroken that I would have to wait a little longer before I could jump back into acting. Finding an agent? Getting new headshots? Maybe when I lose all of this damn baby/breastfeeding weight! Maybe when I actually look like myself again. A little voice in the back of my head kept telling me that until I was back to my pre-baby body, I wouldn’t be able to act because no one would want to cast me. This toxic thinking came from years and years of living and working in Hollywood.
The thing that I will forever love about having lived and worked in Silicon Valley (and getting the hell out of SoCal) for as long as I did, is the “I’m going to forge my own path” mentality.
…but I digress…
At the beginning of 2020 after I had given birth to my 2nd child and was on maternity leave, I found myself spiraling into a dark place…maybe because of postpartum depression, maybe because of exhaustion, maybe because I felt like I had to put my dreams and goals on hold AGAIN to care for my baby. Sounds rough but it’s really the honest truth. I had connected with Matthew Ramsaur, a filmmaker I had met at a film festival a couple years back and was on his email list for when he sent out his crowdfunding campaign for a short film he was directing and looking to raise funds for. I must have watched the crowd funding campaign at like 3am after I had fed my baby and was having a hard time falling back asleep – I LOVED the idea for the film and was drawn to the synopsis that said the story centered around a female FBI agent who was investigating a sex trafficking ring in a small town. I immediately emailed the director after watching the crowdfunding video and asked if he could send me the script because I was interested in being involved with the project. He sent me the script and after reading it, I made him a proposition: I’ll fund your entire film (ended up costing $20k) on the condition that I get cast as the lead for this project. We had a few conversations and I submitted an audition for the role and ended up not only executive producing this project but was also the lead actor. YES, 2020 was a tough year for SO many reasons…but what got ME through it was knowing that I was back doing what I was passionate about: acting.
Fast forward to flying out for the film festival last October. I was fully expecting to attend the world premiere of my short film, “Promises of Snow” and being awarded the $25,000 grand prize and returning home with the Best Actress award. The aforementioned is why I was certain that I was headed to Louisiana in October. It’s really interesting in life how things rarely pan out the way you want…but as a Jesus follower, that’s completely fine because the things He values are often very different than the things we value; we have to constantly recalibrate our hearts and minds because His ways are higher than our ways (Isaiah 55:8-9).
A film that I executive produced and consequently, starred in called “Promises of Snow” got accepted into the Louisiana Film Prize as one of their top 20 films and I went to Shreveport, LA last month for its world premiere. I brought along my 3 year old son, Austin and my mother who has always been my biggest support on my acting journey. We arrived Friday and later that evening was the opening red carpet and filmmaker toast as Film Prize kicked off. That evening, I noticed a man staring at my son, smiling and making funny faces. Seems a little strange but for whatever reason it didn’t alarm me. Later that evening at the Filmmaker Lounge, the man I saw throughout the evening came up to me to tell me that my son was the most adorable child he had ever seen. Him being a professional photographer and videographer (and having worked with numerous children) that compliment was a big deal! As the night progressed, he opened up to me how he was there with his wife because they had 2 films that had also been chosen to be in the top 20. He went on to share that both he and his wife never wanted children and he had even gotten a vasectomy to ensure that he would never have children. However, he said that after seeing my son, something in his heart had changed and he miraculously told his wife that night that he would look into getting his vasectomy reversed. I was blown away and he then called his wife over. She came over and as they shared their story of how they met and how she had made peace with the fact that she would never have children, I realized that they were both Christian. Apparently it was her birthday the previous month (in September) and she had a friend in Los Angeles who was prophetic that had invited both her and her husband to come visit. It was during that particular trip in Los Angeles and the conversations that took place where it was her husband’s “Road to Damascus” moment where the scales had fallen from her husband’s eyes. After that trip (and being called out that he was trying to be the God of his own life) his heart started softening and changing. To me, him saying that he wanted kids and was going to get his vasectomy reversed didn’t mean much to me…but to his wife, it was an answered prayer and a miracle…all because that night he met my son. I can only speculate, but maybe for the first time, instead of seeing children as a burden and a killjoy getting in the way of accomplishing one’s dreams, he saw them in a different light. Here I was traveling with and bringing my son into my world and dreams instead of giving up on my dreams and forfeiting my talents and ambitions. In the middle of the VIP Lounge, we all huddled in a circle with my son climbing on my back to be included and we prayed. We prayed a prayer of thanks for being the miracle maker and for being the God that changes hearts and makes the impossible, possible.
The next day, as I was waiting for the VIP Lounge to open for lunch, I saw an older woman in a wheelchair being pushed by an older gentleman. He left and as she was waiting, she saw me and asked what was going on. I shared with her about my film and how we were in town for the film festival. She looked at my son and smiled but then sadness swept over her face as she shared how she had a son who had passed away when he was young. I asked her if she was from Shreveport and she said that she was from Arizona but had moved to Shreveport because her husband was from here. After her child and husband passed away, she stayed behind. We chatted for a little longer and she looked slightly uncomfortable as she asked me if I had any money for food. Without hesitation, I reached into my wallet and grabbed a $20 for her and the elderly gentleman who was pushing her. When I gave her the money, I said, “Jesus loves you Pat.” She did the sign of the cross then asked if I was Christian and went to church. I said yes and asked if she knew of any churches in the area since we weren’t from the area. She said she went to Simple Church down the road and as she was sharing about the church, her friend came back. I also gave him the $20 and he looked at me with eyes full of gratitude. She told him that we were Christian and I told them that I would meet them at church tomorrow. Ray had a government issued phone so we exchanged numbers. Fast forward to the next morning. I was contemplating whether we should go or not…but finally after wrestling in my mind, I decided to go. I put in Simple Church in my Google maps which directed me to the Shreveport Convention Center. When we got there, all the doors were locked and a security guard let us inside. When I asked if they knew where simple church was, they said that there was a convention going on so Simple Church actually moved across town. However, there was a man, Tim setting up some signage and overheard our conversation. He said that if we were looking for a church, there was going to be a small service upstairs in one of the conference rooms for people who were traveling for the fishing convention. Perfect. I called Ray and Pat to see where they were and told them that Simple church had moved across town but that we were invited to another church service at the convention center. As I was waiting for them, I saw 3 boys who were standing outside of the room handing out bibles and sharing how Jesus came to save us; they were 9, 7 and 5 years old! I met their mother Brittany who was a pastor’s kid and I shared with her about the strangers I had met the day before and how we ended up at their church service. She shared that they were all there for the fishing conference through FCA (fellowship of Christian athletes) and how they were trying to get fishing and hunting included in FCA for the kids who weren’t as athletic.
As soon as Ray and Pat arrived, I took them up to where the small church service was and at the end of service, I was blown away by how so many people came up to Ray and Pat to welcome them. They even packed them all the food they had for them to take with them. As Brittany and I were chatting with Pat, she opened up about how Ray was working odd jobs cleaning to get them off the streets and into a motel especially since the weather was getting colder. She also said that they were saving up to get a mini fridge from a pawn shop. Then, totally unprompted, Brittany reached into her purse and gave them a $100. Brittany told them to use the money to buy the mini fridge. At that moment, Ray and Pat broke down into tears. I was so moved by what God had done and how He had connected us all at this random convention center in the middle of a fishing conference.
Our film didn’t end up winning; we didn’t even make it to the top 5. I didn’t win the best actress award like I had hoped BUT what happened that weekend was incredible. It was VERY different than what I had expected coming to Shreveport, but I know without a doubt that I encountered Jesus at work…and it was beautiful.
Christina July Kim 