Prodigal Daughter

As human beings, we all have been down some pretty dark roads, some darker than most, carrying burdens heavier than others & having committed deeds more hurtful than can imagine… to not only others but to ourselves. I am constantly amazed by God’s grace & hope for us in the midst of the darkness innately inside our hearts.

Since moving up to the Bay Area, I’ve walked the road of a prodigal child in my relationship with God being defiant in the gifts He has so graciously blessed me with and have lived a life of selfish ambition chasing after the desires of my flesh. I have harbored so much secret hatred in my heart and always justified my behavior. I refused to admit that I was wrong and instead pointed out the flaws in others. I have been with many guys since moving up here and have had my heart broken all the while having broken many hearts along the way. Looking back, in my subtle rebellion, it is shocking to see how I have fallen off the path that I once so firmly walked. It truly is the kindness of our Heavenly Father that brings us to repentance (Romans 2:4) and I am so thankful that our God sent us Jesus to cleanse us from all our sins if only we drop our pride and admit that the way we’ve been living our lives is wrong.

Are you tired of the emptiness you feel when you’re alone in that quiet place?
Are you tired of hurting people?
Repentance is beautiful only because God’s forgiveness through Jesus Christ is waiting on the other side of repentance if only we humble our hearts and turn to Him. So often we think that sickness is a test from God or a punishment.
No – the Bible says that sickness is a result of the sin nature that resides in all of us human beings that existed from our birth. However, we must never forget that there is hope:

“Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray for them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven.” (James 5:14-15).

I’m slowly on the road back home… into the loving arms of my Heavenly Father and I will leave you all with this:

“I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance” (Luke 5:31-32)

I am still far from reaching my destination but at least I have an awareness and the assurance that if I keep on this road, slowly but surely, God will soften my heart and make it more like Christ because without His help, I know the darkness that I am capable of…
I may not ever get there but I hear the call – now the more difficult thing for me to do will be to drop my pride and stop tuning out this call…

Bay Area

I absolutely LOVE the bay area & moving up here 4 years ago has seriously been the best decision of my life. Crazy to think that I came here 4 years ago totally broken and lost with a huge slash in my soft top convertible which at the time didn’t reverse. Am so thankful for my life up here and the acting opportunities that I’ve been given up here as a SAG/AFTRA actor.

Looking back at the years of financial difficulties I’ve gone through in my life and having worked multiple jobs since college while putting myself through USC, I take a look at where I am now and many times want to break down and cry at how blessed I am. Never did I imagine to be living in a place that truly feels like home, be financially independent working just ONE job all the while loving the people I work with. I have found a community of heart friends up here that invest in me, that I feel safe in investing – friendships are always a 2 way street. If you’re not in the ideal work situation now, let me encourage you to keep working hard in whatever you’re doing because if you’re faithful with the small things, you truly will be faithful with the big things later on.